Way Back to Love
by Stelena-Beautiful
Summary: Cassie has major news for Hart but just as she's about to tell him, the worst thing that could happen actually happens. Hart races to Dinah's bedside and Cassie realizes that maybe, just maybe, she and Hart aren't meant to be together after all. My way to resolve the Cassie/Hart/Dinah triangle of the 90's. Endgame: Dinah and Hart, for sure... Dedicated to my friend, Lynnlee22.
1. Strength

**Way Back to Love**

_**How I would have resolved the dreadful Cassie/Hart/Dinah triangle of the 90's on Guiding Light. Endgame Dart (Dinah/Hart) and Sassie (Sean McCullough/Cassie). Serious angst will ensue for a bit. Then things will get better. But hold on tight!**_

**1 - Strength**

"Lord, give me strength," Cassie whispered, clasping her hands together in a prayer. She wasn't sure she believed in God. It was hard when The Supposed Man Upstairs had never actually been very good to her. But she would take her chances right now. She had to. What she had to tell Hart would change everything, absolutely everything. Some people would hate her. Maybe Hart would hate her…

The thought made her sick and it was all she could do not to puke in the bushes as she approached the front door at the Jessup farm house. She loved Hart, right or wrong. It felt right to love him, even though he was a married man now. But she was sure he had married Dinah out of obligation. Because he felt so guilty that he had cost her the little girl she was carrying. Not that it had been his little girl. Cassie was sure of that. Cassie's own ex Rob Layne was the lucky Daddy of Laura; at least that's what Cassie had convinced herself of to make things easier for her, for Hart too. But mostly for her.

"Let this be a blessing," Cassie said. "Let Hart take it well. Let him realize we should be a family – him, Tammy, me, and this little baby." The irony that she was praying to God about separating a man from his wife was not lost on her but she reasoned that Dinah was no good for Hart and that Hart couldn't really want to be with the woman who had betrayed him so many times.

Her hands dropped to her still impossibly flat stomach. She rubbed her belly through the cotton of her tee-shirt and then swallowed down her nervousness and the nausea that accompanied it. She figured she was about a month along now. The test had come up positive two days ago but she had been sick for much longer. She would have to go to see a doctor soon; maybe today, but she wanted to tell Hart first. Maybe he would come with her. That would be a step in the right direction.

She raised her hand to knock, before she could lose her nerve. She hoped against hope that Dinah was not home. That she was off scheming somewhere so Cassie could have Hart to herself for a moment.

The door opened and Hart was standing there looking impossibly handsome. He was easily the most gorgeous man she had ever laid eyes on. "Hey," he greeted her with a little smile.

"Hey, Hart," she said, trying to attempt her own smile. It wasn't working. "I am sorry to just drop by like this but there's something I really need to talk to you about."

Hart nodded. "Okay, sure. Come on in." He held open the screen door for her and she walked inside. She instinctively looked around. No sign of Dinah thus far. Good.

Hart touched her shoulder for a moment. "Dinah's not here. She went out to pick up some coffee for us."

_Us,_ Cassie echoed in her mind. And she almost ran out right then and there but resisted. This news was too important to just sweep under the rug.

Hart led her into the kitchen and pulled out a chair for her. He looked at her with a question in his eyes as she slipped into the seat. Cassie splayed her hands in her lap and then thought better of it. She began to drum her fingers on the table top instead.

Hart stared at her. "So…"

"Yeah … Um, Hart I really have to tell you something."

"You said that."

"Well, um. Where do I start?" Cassie sighed. "Alright. I'm just going to blurt it out. Hart, I'm –"

"Hart! _Hart!" _A frantic and familiar man's voice called out. Cassie jumped in her seat; turning to face the door as Matt Reardon came bursting through it.

Hart hurried to meet Matt in the middle of the hallway. He grasped Matt by the shoulders. "What's going on? What's wrong?"

Matt was breathing heavily like he had run a marathon, or at least all the way here from wherever. "It's Dinah," Matt said.

Cassie rolled her eyes. It was so like Dinah to somehow interfere when Cassie was trying to have a close moment with Hart. "What about Dinah?" Hart asked and Cassie heard unmistakable anxiety – no, panic – in Hart's voice. "C'mon, Matt. What happened to my wife?"

"She was shot," Matt managed to gasp out. His eyes were filled with worry and he practically sagged to the floor as he said it. He had always struck Cassie as nearly unflappable, cool and calm in the midst of crisis. If he was this upset, it was bad. It had to be very bad.

"Dinah? No!" Hart snapped out. And he nearly fell back against the little table behind him. "How?

"Wait. Never mind. She's okay, right? She's okay?" Hart said. He looked ready to shake Matt.

"I hope to God she will be," Matt said. "But it's bad. She … Her head … She was shot in the head."

Hart howled. Cassie unconsciously clutched her stomach. She wanted to ask how it happened, why, what went wrong? But Hart was already running for the door with Matt. Matt was saying he would drive Hart to the hospital. Then they were gone.

Cassie finally did throw up. All over Dinah and Hart's thick, imported rug.

TBC


	2. Pray

**2 – Pray**

"What happened?" Hart choked out. His throat was constricting, closing up, threatening to cut off his very ability to breathe. He looked over at Matt in the driver's seat of his truck. "She just – she just went out for some coffee."

"There was a robbery at the coffee shop," Matt said. "I happened to be walking by when the commotion started. When I saw them bring Dinah out on the stretcher …" He sighed. "I shouldn't be telling you this…"

Hart felt his throat clench up tighter but waved Matt on.

"I knew I had to come right away to see you, Hart. I got as many specifics as I could from the officers on the scene … She was just in the wrong place, at the wrong time."

Hart felt a tear track down his cheek. "I should have gone – I should have picked up the coffee, Matt."

"You couldn't have known, Hart; that some punk ass kid would shoot up a coffee shop for the fifty dollars in the cash drawer. If it had been you, Dinah would be the one worrying about you right now."

"Tell me she won't die, Matt."

"Just pray, Man, just pray."

XoXoXo

Cassie drove herself back to her place after cleaning up the mess she had left on the rug. She didn't want Hart to have to come home and find that.

_Hart,_ she thought as she climbed from her car. Her eyes were misty and her hands found her stomach again. She loved him; yes, she did, so much. She had thought telling him about the baby would possibly be a joyous moment but it wasn't. And he still didn't know that she was pregnant. Now was definitely not the time to tell him either.

Dinah had actually been shot. Cassie wanted to believe it was a dream, a hoax even, but she knew deep down that it wasn't.

She stumbled into the house. Sean was coming down the hall. He immediately noticed the look on her face. "What happened?"

"Dinah –"

"Dinah happened?"

Cassie shook her head. "I can't even blame her for this. It's … horrible."

"What are you talking about?" Sean asked, coming to stand in front of her. "What's going on?"

"Dinah was shot, Sean. In the head, I guess. I don't know why. I don't know any specifics but it happened. And if she dies, I lose Hart. If she lives, I still lose Hart. The way he reacted when he heard she was injured … He still loves her. She still gets to him somehow."

A tear rolled down Cassie's cheek and Sean, not typically the most demonstrative of men, hesitated only a moment before awkwardly pulling her into his arms. She sagged against him and the tears really gave way.

XoXoXo

Hart and Matt arrived at the hospital in the next few minutes. It was all too soon and yet not soon enough at all. Hart was afraid of what he was going to hear, what he was going to see. He had to be strong for Dinah and remember that she was the bravest person he had ever known, but in that moment, it wasn't easy. This shouldn't be happening. It was all wrong.

He raced into the hospital and up to the front desk. "Dinah Jessup," he gasped out to a woman manning the nurse's desk. "My wife. She was just brought in. Shot… Tell me she's okay."

The woman looked at him sympathetically and then moved over to the computer, typing in Dinah's name. "Dinah Jessup…"

Hart held his breath this time purposefully.

"She's in surgery," the nurse finally said.

"Is she – is she going to make it?"

"I'll have Dr. Bauer paged. As soon as he has a free moment, he can tell you exactly what is going on with your wife."

Hart wanted to shake answers from the woman but knew instinctively she had none to give. No one did.

Matt guided him to a chair and Hart sat for a moment before shooting to his feet and beginning to pace.

"I've got to call Vanessa," Matt said. "And Ross. You were the first person I got to tell."

"Thanks for letting me know," Hart said. "I just … I need to Dinah to be okay. I need her to know I'm here for her."

"She knows; somehow she knows," Matt said. He reached out and squeezed Hart's shoulder and then hurried off. Hart was alone then. Terribly alone. A feeling, if he were honest, he hadn't encountered since he had first met Dinah. If she didn't make it…

_He couldn't abide the thought._


	3. Calm

**3 – Calm**

"I can't breathe," Cassie gasped out. "I am just – I can't!" Fat teardrops rolled down her face. The bottom had just fallen out of her box of dreams and it was beyond devastating. Her throat felt like it was closing up. "What am I going to do?" She cried. Her whole body was shaking against Sean's sturdier one.

Sean gently patted her back and then pulled away to look into her eyes. "Cassie, alright, listen up. I know this is very difficult but you're hyperventilating. Your face is all red and I bet your heart is racing a mile per second. That can't be good for you or the baby you're carrying."

"I'm – my heart … It's broken," Cassie cried. She backed away from Sean and slumped into a chair. "No matter what happens, she wins. Dinah wins. And yes – yes that's a horribly selfish thing to say given what happened, but it's true. Dinah wins and my baby… my baby loses!"

"Calm down, Cassie," Sean said in a more stern voice now. "You have to focus on your baby right now and this is not helping. Come on. Let me fix you some tea."

"I don't want any damn tea," Cassie spat. She saw Sean purse his lips; a quick twitch of hurt and annoyance creased his features. She wiped away her tears. "God, I'm sorry. You've been nothing but nice to me and here I am acting like a total bitch to you."

"It's alright. You have a lot going on."

"It's no excuse. You're the nicest person I've met in ages and here I am probably chasing you away."

"It takes more than that to chase me away. Eventually, you know, I have to go but not this moment. Just let me help you okay? Somehow, someway. You've let me stay here rent-free so let me do something for you."

Another tear drop rolled down Cassie's pink cheek. "There's nothing you can do. I made my bed and I have to lie in it. _Alone._ Because even if Hart came back to me after this, it wouldn't be about love. Not for me anyway. The baby … they would be the reason he stuck around. I saw him today, Sean. When he heard Dinah was hurt, it's like everything shifted. I saw how much she still means to him."

"Well, I guess once they meant a lot to each other-"

"They still do," Cassie said. She looked down at her hands. "It's the way you feel about your wife … I get it now… Hart didn't marry Dinah out of guilt over costing her the baby. He married her because he still loves her. I am so stupid."

"Brow-beating yourself doesn't help a damn thing."

Cassie's hands found her flat belly again. She looked up at Sean imploringly. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"I don't know, Cassie," Sean said. "I honestly don't know. You've got a little time though before you have to tell Hart the truth."

"I don't want him to stick around for a baby he didn't ask for. Obligation is a bitch. And I am so pathetic!"

"About that tea…"

Cassie sniffled. "What's up with you and tea anyway? Every time I'm upset over Hart, Hart and Dinah both, you break out the tea bags."

"Well, I've learned a little something over the years."

"What's that? That tea has some mystical healing property?"

"No. It's just hard to say bad things about yourself with a mouthful of tea."

Cassie shook her head. "What if the bad things I have to say about myself are actually true?"

"I don't think they are. You're a kind person, Cassie. Not everyone would take an ex-con into their home at the suggestion of their sister."

"Well it was proved you didn't do any of the things Ben Warren helped set you up for … Besides, you help out around here – a lot - and you're a good person."

Sean looked uncomfortable. "Well, I don't know about that."

"Look I'll stop 'brow-beating' myself if you learn to take a compliment."

Sean shrugged. "I'll do my best."

"Good. Now about that tea…"

XoXoXo

Hart felt he had paced the waiting room for hours when in reality it couldn't have been more than twenty or thirty minutes at most. His legs felt weak and threatened to give out on him but he couldn't stop moving. If he did, he would have to really ponder what this all meant and the thought was too horrible. His chest felt close to caving in every time he pictured Dinah lying in a cold, sterile OR fighting for her life. If he let himself really consider the possibility that she wouldn't make it through this, he would go insane.

He had been praying for some time now, just like Matt had suggested. He would never get to the point where he could accept a future that Dinah wasn't a part of.

"_God, just make Dinah okay,"_ he whispered. _"Please. I know that I haven't been the best husband or partner but I will be. I swear, I will be, if you just let her be alright. Let her live and I'll spend the rest of my life being a much better man."_

"Hart, _Hart!"_ Vanessa said, hurrying into the waiting room. Her fancy blue bag was banging against her hip as she hurried to Hart, pulling him from his prayer.

He almost resented her for it.

"What the hell happened?" Ross asked, appearing now with Matt on his heels.

"I told you, Ross," Matt said. "She was –"

"Yes, yes I heard you the first time," Ross said bitterly. "But the truth is, I don't accept it. I can't. If Dinah doesn't survive this, Hart, I will hold you personally responsible."

Vanessa looked at Ross through teary eyes. "Ross, how is this Hart's fault?"

"Because he never took care of her like she deserved," Ross said. "He never appreciated her enough. Not since that blonde came into town anyway."

Hart felt a tear roll down his face. "I didn't want this to happen to Dinah."

"Well if she doesn't make it, think of it this way. You can go be with your mistress," Ross spat. Hart wanted to be angry with him but he couldn't actually get to that point. Hart felt as guilty as could be. If Dinah … if the worst happened … and she was gone without him getting to say how much she had always meant to him…

He shook his head. "You're right on so many counts, Ross," Hart said. "I haven't been a good husband or friend to her. But I swear, I would have stepped between her and that bullet if I could. I'd do it without a second thought."

Vanessa stood between the men. "Of course we know that, Hart," Vanessa said. She looked at Ross sternly. "We're all on edge here. We all love Dinah and want her to be okay. Now is not the time to throw around accusations. We need to stay strong and stand together for Dinah's sake."

Matt looked at Hart. "Did you hear anything yet?"

"No, not yet," Hart replied. "Rick is in with her now."

"Well, speak of the devil," Ross said and they all hurried to approach Rick.

"Hart, what's going on with Dinah – tell me my wife will be alright," Hart pleaded. His voice sounded hoarse and scratchy to his own ears.

"We've stabilized Dinah for the moment," Rick said.

"That's good right?" Matt asked.

"For now," Rick said. "But she's sustained serious damage. I can't lie to you here, folks … The odds of Dinah making it through this are not very good."

Hart clutched his chest. It was physically painful to try to take another breath.

_**A/N: Hart and Dinah's parts will get longer; I promise. Hold on tight. It will all get better soon.**_


End file.
